Why am I so frantic today?

Could it be the coffee? Could it be the impending trip for fiancé's job interview? Could it be the XL coffees I've been sucking down?

Hmmmmm.

It's weird. I got the book chapter in, it's finished, we're just waiting for the editor to approve. It looks great, and I don't have to worry about it anymore. I really don't have to worry about anything this week here at work.

It's the other details that will drive me off the edge. Confirm the church. Confirm the flowers. Confirm the cake. Choose the food. Set out the seating plan. Book a practice hair appointment. Figure out when I'm going to make 15o wedding favours.

And, most importantly, take the time to realize what's going on.

I'm getting married in 25 days.

*breathe in*

*breathe out*

*breathe in*

*breathe out*

Ooh, I forgot the best part!

I'm baking mini-cheesecakes tomorrow for a Thanksgiving dinner. In new mini springform pans.

(I am so simple-minded sometimes)

:-)

Past midnight, it's Saturday, and I'm still here . . .

But, it's all worth it...

I didn't get home until 2:30 last night, and it took about a full hour for the cola to work its way out of my system. So, 4 hours of sleep, and back to work I go.

Tonight, I'm still here. I'd like to think I'll be heading home in an hour, but I'm not exactly sure. But, it's all worth it.

The boss likes the analysis, and resulting figure (It has everything but the numbers right now). A good analysis that I can include in my thesis.

I did something right the first time for a change!!!

Hoorah for me!

But, of course, I should be working, not blogging . . .

It's technically early Friday morning, and I'm still at work.

So. This book chapter thing.

It turned into a bit of a meta-analysis/database summary thing. At 36 hours before my deadline. And I have 7750 bits of data to amass, which take a minimum of 3 (more like 6) seconds each. That, after some magical calculations, works out to somewhere around 14 hours of straight work. Which I didn't figure out I needed to do until 11PM tonight.

So, it's not humanly possible to do it the way I wanted.

Which means, summarizing the summary.

And, lo, I'm still at work at 2AM.

(and it must be quite obvious that my brain went to bed about 2 hours ago).

So, I shall sign off for 4 hours of sleep (-ish) and then back in. I'll likely collapse tomorrow at supper, but whether I can afford to do that remains to be seen.

Sick, but on the mend.

I feel much better tonight, and I'm eating normally again. This morning I could barely stomach cereal, which didn't make for a very productive brain throughout the day. Not that supper made my brain any more in tune with work, unfortunately.

I'm trying to figure out just what I'm thinking about the next few weeks that lie ahead. I know I have work to do (and it's rather looming, even though I don't have a definite deadline for any of it), but work seems unimportant.

I'm getting married in a month.

That fact is becoming more and more real every single hour of every single day. It's scary and exciting and strange and totally insane.

And I don't really have the time to ponder it this week :-(

Maybe I'm sick in mind, if not body...

Perchance not lazy, but sick?

I've been pretty much out of commission since last Thursday.

The really irritating thing is that it isn't with any normal, identifiable malady.

It goes from headaches to stomachaches to muscle aches back to abdominal pain :-( It even woke me up this morning at 6:30... when I intended to sleep until 7:10... grrrrr.

Fiancé thinks it may be stress because of this other paper, but the prelim was so much more crucial to my degree, and I felt nothing. My mother thinks it may just be susceptibility to random bugs, because of all the stress the past few weeks.

I don't know what to think.

I'm giving myself another 24 hours, and then I'll think about going to the doctor. I just can't afford to be sick until the end of November. *sigh*